Fuck Sen. Durbin With Karl Rove's Dick And Blame It On Ann Coulter!!
The other night, I walked into the other part of the house to grab a Coke. My mothers working on a latchhook while watching The Misery Network. No, not FNC or C-SPAN - this misery network. As always on this channel, they play some movie where a woman in trying to escape her asshole husband and the pair of soupbones he uses to beat the shit out of her with. I walked in at the point in the movie where the wife is backed up against a wall with a big ass iron skillet clutched between her small hands while the big burly brute of a husband is glaring at her through bloodshot eyes. One of his hands (which are the size of a Daisy canned ham, no less) is held up in front of his face. The goddamn channel had me glued..."Take it easy, dear," he hisses.
"Y-y-you stay away," the wife whimpers.
"Put the pan down, honey," he says with a forlorn face.
"No! You'll beat me some more," the wife says through her bloddy, swollen lips.
"Not if you put down the pan, I won't," he growls.
"Liar!", the wife kvetches, "You've always done it before!"
"It'll be different this time, I swear! Not put down the damn pan!"
"DON'T YOU DARE TAKE ONE MORE STEP!", she screams, raising the pan as if she were Wade Boggs.
"Darling, you know that would be the unchristian thing to do," the husband says.
The wife whimpers.
"And you know that you are to submit to your husband as The Bible says," he continues.
At this point, just to get a response out of my mother, I exclaim, "Go on and bash her brains in. Just bash 'em right the fuck in! Do it for Jesus!" Of course, that doesn't register a response on my mother for she had grown used to sarcasm a long time ago. Anyway, the husband suddenly rushes in, the shaken wife drops the pan in fright, and the husband proceeds to palm her head like a Harlem Globetrotter and slings her around the kitchen like Moloch from Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance while screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU, BABY, BUT YOU'RE MAKING ME DO IT!!"
It cuts to a comercial break and releases me from its venus flytrap of drama. Thankfully, too, for I knew where it was going next -- the wife would live to see another day and while her husband it out there saving souls for Christ and baptizing babies, she would arrive at the elementary school the pick up the kids and some playground monitor will notice the bruises, contusions, and lacerations, and mention that she needs to seek help (help that the wife will refuse because "I wuv him so much") and all that goddamned jazz. I recognized the chick playing the wife but I couldn't place her. Good actress, though. Uglier than a mud fence in the rain (that's not counting the makeup used to make her look even uglier from the beating she took), but good actress. I intended to look her up once I got back to my PC.
I hit the bathroom, took a piss, grabbed my Coke off the coffee table, and headed back to my cellar to do just that and I realize that the actress had the face of a man. Chiseled. Like Shemp Howard of The Stooges. As soon as I launched my browser, I became overwhelmed by a sense of Deja Vu for on my screen was the picture of the battered bitch along with the following article:
A week after comparing interrogation at the Guantanamo Bay prison camp to the methods of Nazis and other repressive regimes, Sen. Dick Durbin apologized on the Senate floor.
"I am t-t-t-terribly sorry that s-s-s-OW, IT HURTS! Um, s-s-sorry that I s-s-spoke out of t-t-t-turn, mah-mah-master Bush," the useless Illinois fuckwad blubbered through a mask of running mascara and cracked lips. "T-t-to pay for my s-s-sins, I w-w-will now crawl b-back into m-m-my spider hole s-s-so nobody will n-n-no I'm here *sniff*."
His apology drew praise from Republicans.
"Insolence bastard knows his place now in the Kingdom Of The Bush-God!!," said Reichstag press secretary Scotty McDumbkopf. "If blaspheme of this nature continues, we'll be given no choice but the slay those in the name of God. Move along now, citizen."
What a goddamned idiot. What a total fuckhead. Dick Durbin had absolutely nothing to appologize for but the Democratic party continues to be the most worthless and useless jackasses to ever set foot in Washington each time they eat their own after believing the spin from the C.A.R.P (that's "Corporate American Republican Press" for all you playing the home game).
Assholes!
Time and time again, the CARP in this country turns on the spotlights to single out a single Democrat that shows any sense of having a spine, it sounds the "BLASPHEME" sirens erected in the halls, and other Democratic shitheads like Mayor Daley immediately remove the contraband spinal collumn from their fellow brethren so that the Republican Guard doesn't have to. What the fuck?!?
Is it really hopeless for these bootlickers in the DNC?!? Seriously, if Democrats keep on appologizing for telling the truth and keep refusing to back their own up when it happens, then it is clear that the DNC resembles to a T the typical battered wife of a totalitarian marriage with a militant, power-hungry, abusive husband. Seeing the Democratic Party in action right now is like watching the Lifetime Movie Network on any given night. Dead goddamn serious. We're talking an uncanny resemblence here. Liberals and Progressives are quickly coming to the conclusion that they don't have a political party period and it's needless mea culpas from Dick Durbin that drive that truth home.
Time to up the ante and put the pressure on 'em: The next time a Democrat in Washington eats their own, we registered Democrat voters DNC should seriously consider filing suit in a court of law charging them all with "taxation without representation" and then use the money from winning the cocksucker to start a real political party -- one that does not fall for the Republican Noise Machine's trap constantly, one that does not eat their own, one that has a spine made of actual bone and tissue instead of goo and cartilege, one that WANTS to be in the majority again someday, one that will field a Presidential candidate worth the gas (and the 18-hour long wait in line) to vote for, and one that will fight tooth and nail to do so without backing down from a single solitary sonofbitch, especially from SOBs like Karl Rove and Dick Cheney.
posted by Sizemore at
10:02 PM
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