TBT: The Brutal Truth

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Nawp, No Activist Judges Here, Cletus!

Remember the whole Filibuster debacle just weeks ago and how Tom "The Ticking Termite" DeLay & Bill "Callico Gumbo" Frist were co-headliners on the Tali-Born Again's "Republican Judges For Our Republican Jesus" tour? Sure you do, and that brings me to Justice Cale J. Bradford of the Marion County Superior Court in Indianapolis. What's so bad about him? Apparently, not enough witches were burned at the stake in Salem all those years ago and Judge Bradford hasn't felt good about himself ever since, resulting in a ruling that not only adds another fecal skidmark to the Constitution but does so by going after witches again -- this time through their own flesh and blood. Seriously, with all the agents in Hollywood, Aaron Spelling himself couldn't make this up:


An Indianapolis father is appealing a Marion County judge's unusual order that prohibits him and his ex-wife from exposing their child to "non-mainstream religious beliefs and rituals."

The parents practice Wicca, a contemporary pagan religion that emphasizes a balance in nature and reverence for the earth.

Cale J. Bradford, chief judge of the Marion Superior Court, kept the unusual provision in the couple's divorce decree last year over their fierce objections, court records show.


Oh, but wait -- here's the real slimey part:


The order does not define a mainstream religion.


C'mon now, Judge? If you're gonna trample all over the Constitutional and Civil rights of two divorced Wiccan parents and their son by calling their religion "non-mainstream", at least go balls out by defining what you personally consider to be a "mainstream" religion. Ulp, that's right -- you can't. Not unless you really want to stir up a hornet's nest. Don't wanna be too activist in one's activism, eh? Defense lawyer Alisa G. Cohen skewers the Judge quite nicely:


Jones and the ICLU also argue the order is so vague that it could lead to Jones being found in contempt and losing custody of his son. "When they read the order to me, I said, 'You've got to be kidding,' " said Alisa G. Cohen, an Indianapolis attorney representing Jones. "Didn't the judge get the memo that it's not up to him what constitutes a valid religion?"


This might come as no surprize to any Wiccans or Columbus, Ohio residents who might be reading this. I've had Wiccan friends for years and every year -- if they've got the money -- they head down to Columbus to attend a huge Pagan festival out there that lasts for days. Of course, since the Paganistic nature of Wicca is in direct competition with Christianity, guess who "invites" themselves to the same gala in order to save the souls of the apostates? That's right -- the Fundamentalist Fristians. Like Microsoft, they can't stand competiton and so every time when my Wiccan friends head down there, they come back with another horror story to tell. One year, a Christian fundamentalist woman ripped a newborn baby out of the arms of it's Wiccan mother, refusing to give the child back. Doing something that extreme is just flat out asking for an ass-beating. When my friends told me this, they said, "Jay, we should bring you down there one year!"

HELL NO!

Tempting as it is, to hell with that shit. I need that like I'd need a hole in the head. For one, I'm Christian allright but I'm human, too, therefore I can only take right-wing Christian fundies in very, very small doses before my human nature kicks the Holy Spirit aside, rolling up its sleeves and screaming, "Lemme at 'em!!" Secondly, I don't play favorites so I might end up saying something that would piss both groups off, leaving me with a very long walk home. Third, it would just be a waste of time and breath. If common sense and/or decades of Bible reading can't set the Christian fundie crowd straight, nothing will. Lastly, since Wiccans do have naked rituals and most of my Wiccan friends dress like Goths ......... uh, yeah. Granted, I'm no sight for sore eyes but there's just something hideous about a couple 6 foot tall, zombified, fishing lures doing the goddamned streak in the moonlight. Just imagining it is torture enough.

Then again, maybe it's just me.

Other than that, Wiccans are peaceful people. And Justice Bradford needs a good clue-by-four for falling asleep in Law School too often. Trampling on the rights of others by going through their own flesh and blood is a sure fire way to launch a nuclear option of huge purportions. Anyone whose ever walked in Family Court knows that for a fact, especially fathers.


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