TBT: The Brutal Truth

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Analogies That Make You Go "......"

Jane at Firedoglake got into a steel cage match with NRO's Byron York. Of course, York was being a completely tool like always and I agree with Jane for the most part until she made this analogy in her defense:

It’s a "fixation" we use to "attract readers." Yes, it’s called capitalism. Free enterprise. The opposite of wingnut welfare. It’s what happens when you create a good product and people show up so advertisers want to pay you so you can keep the lights on. But Byron isn’t the only one at the NRO unfamiliar with the concept.


Capitalism?!? Free Enterprise?!?

No! Nein! Naught!

Consider this revised analogy:

Yes, it’s called HONESTY and INTEGRITY -- the opposite of Republican wingnut DECEPTION and EMPTY PLATITUDES. It’s what happens when an open minded and logical audience rewards you on the basis of your TIME, EFFORT, COMPETENCE, and CONTRIBUTION to a societal whole so that hopefully they'll tolerate capitalistic advertisers who'll pay me a pittance in order for me to keep the lights on. But Byron isn’t the only one at the NRO unfamiliar with the concept.

Sounds a hell of lot better because it's very humble, direct, and carries the denotion of the "Big Tent" all-inclusive nature of the Democratic Party's original core values. Capitalism is not an original Democratic Party core value -- the DNC adopted Capitalism as a core value (along with alot of greed inspired nonsense) because they were being led to the ideological defunct "center" by Clinton and the DLC, the results of which have been pretty damned tragic -- the "Republicanization" of the DNC. It's gonna take a hell of lot more than ridding ourselves of Lieberman, Biden, and a host of other "centrist" (read: capitalistic/corporate interest) Democrats and really fumagate the party.

As I've said plenty of times here, Capitalism doesn't give a rat's ass about people and never will -- whether it be belligerent Old Testament "Patriotically Correct" religious capitalism championed by the GOP nor meritocractic New Testament "Politically Correct" quasi-regulated capitalism championed by the DNC simply because Capitalism is top-down -- the richest Americans regardless of their political affiliation are always going to get what they want before the poor get what they need. In other words, when the horse shits, the sparrow eats.

Besides, all that pro-capitalistic "free market" zealotry is self-righteous horseshit. Why? What's the root word of "market"? Mark. And what's a mark?!? A victim, an idiot, a dupe, a cad, a rube, a schlepp, a schlub, stooge, a fool, a diabolical and unadultered SUCKAH!!!! In other words, in the realm of Capitalism, the only Gospel allowed and preached openly is that of P.T. Barnum.

And what do you get when you've got a market with no marks at all?!? An ET! And what do ET's do?!? Dey fone home to Washington D.C. and scream, "Haaaaalp! I screwed all my customers over, pissed off my shareholders, bilked the company out of billions, and raped the pensions of my employees! Come bail my ass outta here!!!" and, sure enough, the great Government mothership decends from the sky and rescues their asses. Interestingly enough, they're not the only ones that disappear without a much of a scrape from their Great Tribulation -- much of the free market zealots and venture capitalists are raptured as well just like Benny Hinn and Peter Popoff were when Terri Schaivo vegitated her last days away. Then they come back when the coast is clear.

Unfortunately ...

Semantical nitpicks aside, Rich Lowrey let his hair down ...

Because — let me be frank here — we lose money. NRO is a loss leader. And here’s what’s unfortunate — the print magazine is a loss leader too. We are surrounded by loss leaders. If we ever have ideas to further our mission, they are guaranteed to be loss leaders. If your business needs advice on how to develop a loss leader, come to us. We have it down. I assure you we can help you start to lose money almost immediately. It’s our specialty. We have been doing it for 50 years and hope to keep doing it for many more.

That last bit isn’t quite right. We’d prefer not to lose money. But there is something to the opinion journalism business that makes it inherently unprofitable.

... and Jane delivered a Ric Flair chop across his chest:

Remember that the next time they want to lecture you on their "fiscal conservatism." They’re privileged, white upper middle-class twits who want the right to shovel shit nobody wants to read and then be paid for it quite handsomely. They’re unwilling to compete in the free market. Always asking for a handout, expecting someone to take care of them.

The NRO quite proudly represents the party with their hands on the purse strings. No wonder the country is swimming in red ink.


Personal adversions to Capitalism aside, she's accurate -- Republicans definately don't want to compete in any kind of "free market" and never will. Instead, they prefer to compete in a stacked market because only Republicans can do a Drownie-esque heckava job in stacking bullshit so damned high and filching a shitload of Conservative Christians, racists, and bigots for bankrolling the entire endeavor.

P.T. Barnum, indeed ... (or Thomas Jefferson, at that rate!)


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