TBT: The Brutal Truth

Saturday, April 29, 2006

A Meme Is A Meme

Rana and Ms. Shakes started it so I'll toss mine in to the fray:

Accent: Despite my father's hillbilly Kentucky accent never going away, I don't have one myself ... unless I want to. (See "Most Admirable Traits")

Booze: Stolichnaya Vodka just like Freddie Mercury. He had good taste. (Oh, that reads so wrong on a number of levels)

Chore I Hate: Mopping. My back can't handle it for long.

Dog or Cat: Had plenty of both in my life. Our family used to breed champion Chinese Pugs and Pekingese dogs. Even cross bred them a few times (e.g. Peek-A-Pug). Currently have two dogs named Jake and Sugar. Sugar is a full blooded prissy Pekingese. Jake is my Chickenese - part Pekingese and part Rhode Island Red. These dogs are known for their lion-like appearance and fearlessness (we've had two Pekingese dogs that have successfully whipped the shit out of pitbulls and Sugar is one of them) but Jake is something else. To some people, he's very cool with and others, he'll bolt behind a chair or table. Then again, Jake is a Republican (that's a whole different story there).

Essential Electronics: Computer, TV, something to play my music on in case my computer goes tits up.

Favorite Cologne: Don't have one but anything cheap and effective will do (as long as it doesn't say BRUT on it).

Gold or Silver: Neither. Not really a jewelry person but I lean towards gold, however.

Hometown: Sheissedorf, Michigan (AKA Monroe County)

Insomnia: Often. The last few days have me sleeping for 6-8 hours and up for 12-14.

Job Title: Self-Employed computer maven with over 15 years of raw, hands on experiance. No degrees. Degrees?!? I don't need no stinkin' degrees!! But since the price of gas has squeezed the middle class, work has dried up. People are either pouring what little cash they've got into their gas tanks instead of their toys or simply going to Wal-Mart or Dell for their upgrades. Thanks to Wal-Mart and OEMs such as Dell, Gateway, etc, they've created a market for "Disposable PCs". I can't compete with them -- pricewise or ethics-wise.

Kids: One daughter sleeping as I type.

Living Arrangements: You don't want to know. It's not much better than the victims of Katrina.

Most Admirable Traits: Loyalty. Addiction to knowlege. But the big ones would be sense of humor along with my voice talents. I can do impressions of famous people, not so famous people, cartoon characters, video game characters, dialects, accents, etc. In fact, if I'm around to watch and listen to you long enough, I could impersonate you eventually. Hell, I sometimes flip out members of my family thinking my father's still alive because I can sound just like him but adjusting my Foghorn Leghorn with a touch of Archie Bunker. Lot of shit I can do: Lion-O, Snarf, Mumra, and Slithe of The ThunderCats; Kain, Mobius, and the Elder God of The Legacy Of Kain games, Duke Nukem, the late pro-wrestler Dick The Bruiser, Redd Foxx, George Carlin, A Marine Corp Drill Instructor, Moe Shemp Howard of The Three Stooges, and my own creation that could soil many pairs of boxers, briefs, and panties because of its utter stupidity and accuracy -- Cletus D. Republican.

Number of Sexual Partners: Two. Yeah, I know - I'm such a slut.

Overnight Hospital Stays: Aw, do we have to talk about my 4 days in a mental ward?!?

Phobias: Insects such as large spiders, bumble bees, wasps and hornets but my worst is probably severe weather. Intense thunderstorms with hail, frequent lightning, 60+MPH winds and tornadoes make me curl up into a ball on a chair or couch with blankets on (even in 90 degree heat with 100% humidity).

Quote: "Moses shit the bed!" or "Jesus H. Dice-Collectin' Christ!"

Religion: The Gods of Good Fortune (unless the Gods of Good Sex show up first).

Siblings: Youngest of two brothers, three sisters, and two half-brothers. See? Told you we Sizemores were sluts ...

Time I Wake Up: Doesn't matter. The rest of the nation still has to wake up earlier in order to rise with me.

Unusual Talent or Skill: I can sit down and relax in some of the most visually harrowing ways.

Veggie I Love: Green Beans and Potatoes.

Worst Habit: Too many of them that are equally evil: picking my nose and flicking/wiping my finger on the garbage can liner (even when tissue is within reach to blow my snot-locker), tasting my own belches (especially if I just inhaled Taco Bell), and I tend to piss sitting down because I'm either too drunk/lazy to stand up (usally the latter because I can't afford the former).

X-Rays: Roughly two years ago for my lower back. It wasn't pretty.

Yummy Foods I Make: Everything. Everything I make is yummy. Afterall, what's the point of making disgusting food you're not going to eat?!? None. If it isn't yummy, I sure as hell won't make it. So, don't blame me.

Zodiac Sign: Capricorn, mahfuckahs! Das right - I got yer goat right here ... *grabs crotch*


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