TBT: The Brutal Truth

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

... Only Outlaws Will Have Guns Burn Flags

Go on, goddammit. I triple-dog dare you:

The Citizens Flag Alliance, a group pushing for the Senate this week to pass a flag-burning amendment to the Constitution, just reported an alarming, 33 percent increase in the number of flag-desecration incidents this year.


"I think of the flag as a symbol of what veterans fought for," Sen. Arlen Specter (R-Pa.) said as he opened the debate yesterday, "what they sustained wounds for, what they sustained loss of limbs for and what they sustained loss of life for."

Yeah, nevermind opening up tax-payer funded hospitals, rehabilitation centers, and counselors offices so that veterans can get the proper physical care, mental care, rehabilitation, and prosthetic limbs they lost in defending the rights of full-of-shit jackasses like Arlen Specter. Nah, instead we'll just cut taxes for to rich, slash VA funding, and give the vets a flag their limbless bodies can't wave let along fuckin' burn!

But Durbin and Dodd were in the minority in their inability to recognize the threat to the flag. Nearly two-thirds of the senators -- tantalizingly close to the number needed to pass the amendment -- are expected to vote for the flag-burning amendment this week, including Sen. Harry Reid (Nev.), the Democratic leader.

And the pro-amendment crowd is armed with powerful constitutional arguments. "Ever since the Boy Scouts first taught me how to care for our flag over 40 years ago, it has always held a special place in my heart," Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Tenn.) said in a press release yesterday.

Such a fucking shame, Mr. Frist, that you care more about A SYMBOL than the brave men and women that died underneath it. Asswipe.

That's does it, folks. The reason I triple-dog dare these sonsabitches to ban flag burning is because if they do, I will be conducting weekly burnigs of the American Flag which will be recorded, YouTubed, and broadcasted right here on TBT. Afterall, once they outlaw flag burning, only outlaws will burn flags ... and I'm the fuckin' outlaw!

Ordinarily, my stance on flag-burning has been patriotically simple: if the American Flag was made right in here in the USA, wave the stripes off the bastard. If the American Flag was made by another country, torch the fucker. But since they want to ban all American Flag burnings, I'm gonna have to curtail that personal policy of mine and instead go Sherman on any American Flag period.

In order to for me to do this though, I'm going to need help -- flints and Zippo fluid isn't free and neither are the flags. So, I emplore TBT readers to either donate cash to fund "Sizemore's Weekly Outlaw Flag Burnings" in order to keep it going. Strapped for cash? No problem, padre ...

Jason Sizemore
3919 South Custer
Monroe, MI 48161

There is my easily Googled home address so if donating cash isn't an option, send me any spare American Flags, flints, and Zippo fluid you've got and, rest assured, I will torch them motherfuckers loud and proud right here on TBT for a YouTube loving audience to see. Dead serious here, folks. I'm tired of these grandstanding motherfuckers ...

NOTE: Attention Freepers, fake Rightwing Christians, and other assorted boneheaded Republicans: NO ANTHRAX OR PIPEBOMBS PLEASE! I don't get the mail because it's hard to cane myself down the long ass driveway to the mailbox. Instead, my mother usually hops in her van and drives down there ... and if she gets exposed to Anthrax or pipebombed from Milan to Luna Pier, I'll set your ass on fire ...

UPDATE: Fuckin' chickenhawks ...


1 comment(s):

I was wondering how my neighbour could save a fortune on her credit cards. Now I too have the secret.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:38 AM  

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