TBT: The Brutal Truth

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Often Imitated - Never Duplicated

Ms. Shakes and Jessica at Feministing tackles something that I find outrageous -- a group of T-Shirts that glorify rape and borderline pedophilia being offered by a website I won't mention here and market them as if they were funny. Now, I realize this is a dicey topic because of the idea of free speech and I'm also old enough to remember some of the outlandish things feminist groups did in the past to try to control people's langauge. But that's the point -- that shit is the past and good riddance.

The differences between today's feminists and the feminists from 1970s and 1980s are like night and day. Gone are the surburbanite, white, middle class, elitst, psycho hose beasts that blasted men as nothing more than knuckle dragging "Deadbeat Dad" neanderthals with burgeoning wallets all the while immitating the very narcissistic macho male behaviors as they donned tailored business suits and worked for nefarious companies that poisoned the environment and the children they claimed to love and support so much. The only place feminists like that exist anymore is within the confines of Washington D.C., the mainstream media, and Rush Limbaugh's own delusions brought on by Oxy withdrawal.

Today's feminists are those the former militant feminists left behind to fend for themselves -- poor, working class, women suffering from poor medical and mental health that find time in the day to give a damn about crack babies, give a damn about the worries and insecurities of women from minority groups, have rewarding relationships with husbands or their lesbian partners, and go so far as to stage compassionate hunger strikes in defense of the mythological "Deadbeat Dad" our Government chases down so that the very system itself can turn statistics from collection agencies into a bi-partisan campaign for continued employment within the hallowed halls of the public office (here's a statistic I'm sure they'd love to keep away from their constituents -- the rate of suicide among "Deadbeat Dads" has skyrocketed to the point where they are twice as likely to kill themselves than a married man).

But one thing that keeps them all the same is the subject of rape and other forms of abuse. And it's should be no surprize that T-shirts like these that attempt to make a "joke" of rape through glorifying it to be no laughing matter whatsoever. Who would blame them? Certainly not I and this is the point of my post on this subject: Only one person has successfully made the idea of rape funny and he was George Carlin back in the late 1980s. He never touched the subject in such a way again throughout his career and I'll let him speak for himself now:

Oh, some people don't like you to talk like that. Some people would like to shut you up for those things. You know that - lots of people. Lots of groups in this country want to tell you how to talk. Tell you what you can't talk about. Or they'll say you can talk about things but you can't joke about it. They'll say that you can't joke about something because it's not funny. Comedians run into that shit all the time.

Like rape - they'll say, "You can't joke about rape! Rape is not funny!"

I say, "Fuck you! I think it's hilarious - how do ya like that?!?"

I can prove to you that rape can be funny -- picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd. See? Hey, how you think the came to name him 'Porky', eh?!? I know what you're gonna say: "Elmer was askin' for it. Elmer was coming on to Porky. Porky couldn't help himself, he got a hard-on, got horny, and lost control. He went out of his mind."

This context of rape is funny. Why? Derrrrrrr. C'mon -- mentally picturing a famous cartoon character cornholing another famous cartoon character -- be it consential or not -- is a goddamned gutbuster. It's a fucking no-brainer. Nobody is going to give a rat's ass (except rightwing Christians) because they're not human. They're imaginary motherfuckers. Be-deep-be-deep-be-deep, dat's all, folks. Those who think this isn't funny? GET THEE TO A NUNNERY!

Headmaster Carlin continues, this time adding a human element to it:

Alot of men talk like that. Alot of men think like that and say it's the woman's fault. They want to blame the rape on the woman and say, "Eh, she had it coming. She was wearing a short skirt!" These men think women oughta go to prison for being cock-teasers. Don't seem fair to me. Don't seem right. But you can joke about it.

I believe you can joke about anything -- it all depends on how you construct the joke. What the exaggeration is. Because every joke needs at least one exaggeration. Every joke needs to have one thing to be waaaaaay out of purportion and I'll give you an example. You've seen news stories like this on TV or in the paper that says, "Some guy broke into a house, stole a lot of things, and while he was in there, he raped an 81-year-old woman." I thinking to myself, "Why?!? What the fuck kind of a social life does this guy have?!?"

I want to say to him:

Carlin: "Why did you do that?!?"

Rapist: "Weeellll, she was comin' on to me. We were dancing and I got horny! Hey, she was asking for it -- she had on a tight bathrobe!"

Carlin: "Jesus Christ! Be a little fuckin' selective next time, will ya?!?"

With a human element to rape such as that one, Carlin finds that proverbial line in comedy where society generally erects a sign that says, "DO NOT CROSS" ... and crosses it deliberately. That's his job -- a job he's been doing for 50 years now but the difference between Carlin and these T-shirts is that Carlin -- regardless of adding a human element to the context of rape that in all technicality could justify a bra-burning protest -- he crosses the line with the style of a irrepressible court jester. One can't help but laugh at the goofy bastard.

These T-shirts, on the other hand, lack style in their "joking" about rape and the human element they provide to the context of rape is simply inhuman -- inhuman because the "joke" is the glorification of rape to make it sound like it's should be socially acceptable. I see these shirts as nothing more than agitprop geared to further test the taught nerves of a society allready vastly divided enough into uncivilty. In the false guise of humor, these shirts contain loaded messages intending to piss people off just because they can. Nothing more -- nothing less.

I defend the notion of saying things via the Freedom of Speech for the purpose of pissing people off because I'm as partisan as they come. However, my partisanship on that token is limited to public discourse/debate, religion, economics, and politics. Why those limits? Because they emcompass so many different flavors and factions that even if you do say something for the expressed purpose of pissing people off, you will not succeed in pissing everyone off because somebody somewhere will agree with your ass. You won't be alone. America is such a melting pot that the adage "you can't please everyone" is just as accurate is "you can't piss everyone off" but that's contingent on a lot of variables and possibilities. Rape isn't one of them. Rape shows no bias. Shows no prejudice. It doesn't care what or who you are.

Also, showing my own sick, wrong, and demented side, I have to admit -- I thought the same thing Carlin did when I read or heard of stories like this in the paper or on TV. My local newspaper prints local accidents and police reports including a list of people who got arrested (half of those motherfuckers I know personally and cackle like hell -- especially when it's one of my brothers). I'd read stories simular to that and think, "I know it's all different strokes for different folks but, sheesus, if you absolutely must have something old and dry to stick your dick in, go fuck a knot in a tree and leave your fellow neighbor's gramma out of it." Fucking a knot in a century old tree is just as sick and wrong ... but at least it's victimless (I don't count the splinters -- if you're desperate enough to fuck a tree, reap what you sow, asshole! They're part of the package).

Lastly, Headmaster Carlin pulls a surprize on us -- even though old school Feminists in the 80s were just as militant in trying to control language (and thus control thought) as the likes of political interest groups and religious shysters, Carlin was a friend and supporter of the underlying feminist philosophy:

I've got nothing against the Feminists. In fact, I agree with most of the feminist philosophy I have read. I agree that -- for the most part -- that men are vain, ignorant, greedy, brutal assholes who have just about ruined this planet all because they're afraid someone might have a bigger dick out there somewhere. Men are insecure about the size of their dicks and decide to kill one another over it ... So, I agree with that abstract -- that males have pushed the technology that just about has this planet in a stranglehold. Mother Earth raped again. Guess who? "Eh, she was askin' for it!!"

In the end, I agree with Carlin on the general abstract that anything can be made humorous, including rape, but it depends on the exaggerations. He covered those bases quite well. I also agree with him on feminism's core philosophy (only a man or group of men could concoct these sickening t-shirts). As for my friends in modern-day feminism, I share your contention in spades with these deplorable shirts but, in the end, it's the way 1st Amendment works. Sometimes, you'll like it. Sometimes, you won't. This is one of those times none of us do and I rather not see them being worn by people in America ...

On second thought, these shirts would make excellent prison garb.


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