TBT: The Brutal Truth

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Riddle You That

Over at Ms. Shakes's sandbox, somewaterytart asks:

Hey, I have a question. Why, when people say 'I swear,' are they often admonished with 'don't swear'? Or when asked to swear, some people won't? Is this a religious thing, like you're only supposed to swear about things pertaining to Jesus? When I was little I thought it was because 'swear' also means bad words, and bad words are bad. Like that girl on my soccer team who would scold me for saying 'Oh my God,' and even 'oh my gosh,' because it starts with the same letter. I had to carpool with that bitch. Either way, please, riddle me that.

Since my response was apparently too long for Ms. Shakes' HaloScan, I'll post it here: I consider it all just fashions-in-thought designed to artifically boost one's self esteem. In other words, the person that tells you, "Don't take the Lords name in vain" when they hear you say "gosh darn it" is most likely engaging in textbook projectionism -- they say it too, but only when nobody is around. Ahhh, but since you're both in the public eye when in church together, that person wants to either put on a false cloak of religiosity or impose a guilt trip in on your ass. Sometimes both.

As any one who reads this rag of mine couldn't tell allready, I got tossed out of churches alot because (in my opinion) I brought something mainstream religion hasn't had since about the 4th century: LOGIC! I'll give two examples: As a wee lad around 10 or 12, I was once requested by a self-appointed church leader to sing. I didn't feel like singing and thus I said, "No." That lead to cajoling in the form of, "But, Jay! A good singing voice of yours gives glory to Gawd!"

Again, I'd said, "No" because I just wasn't in the mood. Then came the fear-mongering, "Well, God just said He wants you the sing," and that's when I'd answer back with logic: "Why would God stick His head through the clowds when I'm not looking to give me a message through you?!?" and that earn me a firm slap on the ass and, now forced to sing, I'd deliberately sing terribly out of spite (kinda hard to do for people who can sing moderately well because they're their own worse critic -- if they sound like a wounded water buffalo in heat to their own ears, they're not about to let someone else hear them bleat!)

The second example was when I was in my mid-teens helping a church build a ramp for handicapped people. Bashed my thumb with a hammer and bellowed, "Motherfuckin' God Dammit!!" Everybody gasped, "Shame on you! Confess your sin, brother!" Still ticked off, I said, "What sin?!?" and somebody said, "You took the Lord's name in vain."

"No, I didn't," I bitched, "I didn't say 'Hi, I'm God, but you can call me Jehovah'! I made an appeal to God to DAMN the freakin' hammer which He will not do anyway -- He and Jesus are too busy laughing their asses off at my request to damn an innocent, inanimate object that wouldn't have caused me pain had my scrawny hide been a little more coordinated!"

Somebody said, "That's blaspheme! God wouldn't have such a foul sense of humor!" and I said, "Why not?!? He created your fickle and sinful ass, didn't He?!?" More gasps of shock followed by catcalls of how I couldn't have been a true Christian because of the way I talk. Personally, I believe the way I talk is right in line with 1st Corinthians chapter 13 -- speak in ways that can be understood and do with love. That's what I try to do -- speak with love; be it eros, phileo, or agape.

Give or take a "rat's hairy ass" ... *grin*

Taking a chance only once in your life
Only weakness can stop you from hearing new languages
Translate each word as they bring you creation
Your voice is the perfect key


Yes
"New Languages"
1999


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