TBT: The Brutal Truth

On the heels of my previous post encouraging women to put the "cunt" back into our country, it looks like a special case might be needed for the women of Tennessee -- the state is engaged in a legislative game of foreplay that looks to ban all the fuckin' dildos:

For unknown reasons, State Senator Charlotte Burks (DINO) and State Rep. Eric Swafford (R) have been thinking a lot about the activities going on your bedroom. They have come to the conclusion that Tennessee will be a better place to live if the state regulates your bedroom by outlawing dildos ... If the Victorians have their way, it will soon become a crime to sell, advertise, publish, or exhibit dildos in this red state. Presumably "exhibit" is what happens when more than one person is caught in the vicinity of a dildo. The lawmakers are willing to permit some exceptions, such as the study of dildos by college students and professors. Were you looking for a subject for your Master's thesis? Interviewing lawmakers on this touchy subject could prove highly stimulating.

As a result, I've perscribed an alternative for the ladies in the Tennessee valley in case abortion and dildos are indeed banned: your only recourse is to have your patriarchal bastard of a husband deliberately catch you in the act of masturbating on the living room couch not with a dildo ... but with the 9-inch barrel of his unloaded $800-$1,200 Smith Wesson 500 Magnum revolver. That's 4.5 pounds and 9-inches of cold steel, potentially bigger and thicker than his manhood but definately less cold than his politics. And if you really want to fuck with his head, masturbate with it while reading The Song Of Solomon ...


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