Operation: "Find Me A Wealthy & White Dead Ol' Boy!!"Oh, if I was only making this horseshit up ...
Federal troops aren't the only ones looking for bodies on the Gulf Coast. On Sept. 9, Alabama Senator Jeff Sessions called his old law professor Harold Apolinsky, co-author of Sessions' legislation repealing the federal estate tax, which was encountering sudden resistance on the Hill. Sessions had an idea to revitalize their cause, which he left on Apolinsky's voice mail: "[Arizona Sen.] Jon Kyl and I were talking about the estate tax. If we knew anybody that owned a business that lost life in the storm, that would be something we could push back with."
This is just a riot -- Sessions and Kyl have got Apolinsky down there combing New Orleans looking for at least one dead rich white man so they can turn around and make him a victim of that bad ol' estate tax. I never thought the GOP would sink so low to engage in "legislative ambulance chasing" but, of course, when you've got a lameduck President Potemkin in the White House and expect that large swath of homeless black people to re-implant the left's abandoned spinal collumn in full force (or raise a lot of hell trying), then desperate times call for desperate measures.
For now, getting repeal back on the agenda may depend on Apolinsky and his team of estate-sniffing sleuths, who are searching Internet obituaries among other places. Has he found any victims of both the hurricane and the estate tax? "Not yet," Apolinsky says. "But I'm still looking."
He sure is. Looking for that ever elusive dead rich white Republican to "add perspective" to post-Katrina America. And he has to a white man. Can't be a dead rich Republican black man because they're even more of a scarcity than those whom benefit from repealing the estate tax. Rich dead white men would be easier to find. Also, a dead rich Republican black man would be met with derisive cat calls from the black community who'll accuse the cadaver of selling out in exchange to getting to live in the big house with the slave-masters. So, Apolinsky is definately looking for a dead rich Republican white man in order for the GOP to convince us to feel sorry for him. Sorry enough to repeal the estate tax.
Oh, the burdens of a white man in America.
They're more oppressed than gays and non-fundamentalist Christians.
Boo. Fucking. Hoo.