TBT: The Brutal Truth

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Coming out of the closet .... sort of!!

Andy Cooper makes my nipples hard in this transcript of an interview with Jeff Gannon conducted earlier yesterday. Although you can't really tell from just reading the transcript, he completely picks Gannon apart as if he were a fully loaded Lexus parked in front of a Detroit crack house. All Gannon does is ... well ... sit there and squirm. There's a Quicktime video of this interview at other fine blogs such as Media Matters and Crooks & Liars but their bandwidth has been hammered and could use a donation to help pay the bills. Also, John Aravosis of Americablog and The Daily Kos continue to be undying bastions of Gannon coverage. All these fine folks could use your generous support in their efforts of picking up the ball that the greater corporate media won't touch (Lest It Pisses Off Thy Shareholders!)

As for me, my unfortunate and uncanny resemblence to Gannon has moved me to replace that picture to the right very soon. Mainly, because it's an old pic from last summer and the only people that remain bald during the cold ass Michigan winter either can't help it or are just simply numb from the neck up (in more ways than one). Since Gannon broke, people look at that and ... welll ... I can handle "Dude, you look like Stone Cold Steve Austin" but when people start saying, "Holy shit! It's that HotMilitaryStud guy on the news! I heard he likths the lavender handcuffths!", I have just got to draw the line somewhere.

However, I'm going to empathize with Gannon on one thing and that's the usage of a psuedonym because of having an often mispronounced surname. Personally, I can't order a fucking pizza without the person on the other end saying, "Sizemore ... um, how do you spell it?!?" But my "PsychoSy" handle is something beyond my control as it dates back to Junior High School in 1987 and has stuck with me ever since. This is where my empathy stops and my questions begin: If Gannon had to fork over his Social Security Number every single day for 2 years or so in order to get a daily press pass, then why would both Clueless McClellan and Dubya call him by his fake name instead of his real one? His number won't punch up "Gannon" -- it'll be "Guckert". Clearly Gannon is either a plant or had some connection inside the White House -- a connection so good that everyone seemed to have been coached on how to address him if they ever decided to call on him (e.g. "See that bald fuck? His name's J.D. Guckert but make sure you call him Jeff Gannon!") or both.

Lastly, the moment the blogosphere unearthed evidence of Gannon's presence in the WH moshpit long before Talon News started eating up precious CPU cycles was also the moment his multitude of spread-eagled, testicle-jouncing homosexual profiles became relevant. Why? Because the question just begs to be asked: In what capacity was Jeff Gannon's role then?!? Bottom line: His pecker tracks are on or in something (or someone) within The Bush Administration. To limit the scope of that invesigation, I hearby outrule a blue dress ... that is unless ol' Scotty has something personal he really doesn't want us to know about (or Rove, for that matter!)


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